On Losing Your Wallet

So I lost my wallet on Sunday.  Credit cards - gone.  Social Security card - gone.  Driver's license - gone.  Lost it on my way to Lake Charles for a three day stay at L'auberge Du Lac.  It was purely a business trip, I assure you.  Luckily I had some cash and my passport on me, so I was able to go ahead and check in.

What I am finding out is this:  cancelling and replacing your credit cards is a cinch.  Took me about an hour and a half altogether to replace 5 cards.

Replacing your driver's license is no different today than it was 40 years ago.  Drive to an inconveniently located Texas Dept. of Transportation office.  Wait in line 30 minutes for a disgruntled state bureaucrat to look at your insurance card and passport and tell you to fill out a form at a table where there are pens on chains.  Find out that none of the pens on chains have any ink in them, and borrow a pen from the Scottish guy in front of you who just moved to Houston from Aberdeen.  Nice guy - he tells me not to be too upset - it works the same way in Scotland.

Fill out the form and stand in another line for another 30 minutes, before another disgruntled low-talking bureaucrat who speaks English as a third language calls you over, looks at your paperwork and says something completely incomprehensible.  Get a dirty look from the disgruntled low-talking bureaucrat when you respond with "huh?".  Lean in very close to her and listen intently as she mumbles "take off glasses, stand in front of blue screen", and then try to smile as she takes the most god-awful photo that has ever been taken of you in your entire life, or at lease since the last time you had to replace your drivers license.

Listen very intently again as the disgruntled low-talking bureaucrat mumbles "eleven dollar", and count out the bills.  Take your receipt and ask how long it will take to get the license in the mail.  Recoil in shock at the utter futility of it all when she replies "thirty, forty-fi day".  


Run out of there in utter despair knowing that this is what my healthcare service is going to be like for the remainder of my life now that the system has been federalized.

I just cannot wait for my visit to the Social Security office next week.  I'd rather have dental surgery without anesthesia.