24

First, a confession: I am a HUGE fan of this show. Got hooked on the first episode of the first season, and have never missed one since. But there is a trick to the long-term enjoyment of “24″ – if you try to just take it at face value, you will quickly lose the ability to take it seriously and become disaffected. I realized this along about midway through the show’s second season, when Jack Bauer’s daughter was kidnapped out of CTU custody for about the tenth time.

When will Kim be kidnapped this season?

The key to enjoying this show is to view it like a kind of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 deal. This show, if you don’t take it seriously, is one of the funniest programs on television. It is so filled with patently absurd plot devices that it defies any credibility whatsoever, but if you recognize that reality, the show quickly becomes one of the best laugh-fests around.
If you really want to have fun, make up drinking games to the various repetitive plot devices.

Take a shot of your favorite liquor every time:

* – the CTU Director says it will take either 15 or 20 minutes for a CTU tactical team to get from any point A to any point B, regardless of their method of transporation. No matter where they are, and no matter where they are going, and no matter how they are getting there, it ALWAYS takes a CTU tactical squad either 15 or 20 minutes to make the trip;

* – anyone either taken prisoner or into protective custody by CTU is kidnapped. If they are killed (they are ALL either kidnapped or killed – CTU, the nation’s premier terrorism-fighting agency, is utterly incapable of securing its own facility and keeping a prisoner in custody), take 2 shots;

* – Jack Bauer fails to get his point across the first time he says something to either an enemy or a friend, but gets his point made the second time by SCREAMING REAL LOUD!!!

This is Jack, making his point.

* – Jack Bauer is either beaten up, stabbed or even shot, and two hours later shows no sign of having been injured. I call this Jack’s “Wile E. Coyote” superpower.

This is Jack, two hours after having been shot 3 times in the chest.

* – every time a member of Jack Bauer’s family is murdered or kidnapped. This happened much more often in the early years, but Jack has begun to run out of family members since then. This season, I truly fear for his baby granddaughter’s safety. I’m just sayin’…* – the real terrorist turns out NOT to be a Muslim male between the ages of 19 and 35. Each season’s real terrorist always turns out to be some form of anglo agent of the military industrial complex. It is the formula – Hollywood political correctness run amok. The only exception to this was season three, when the real terrorist turned out to be a Mexican. No kidding.

* – every time Chloe frowns, snorts, or speaks condescendingly when conversing with her peers or bosses at CTU. This one alone will have you falling down drunk halfway through each hour. Chloe is without question the most entertaining character on the show, and maybe on all of network television.

The Greatness that is Chloe.

There you have it - a proper mode of viewing truly is the key to long-term enjoyment of this program. Taken seriousy, it’s a wholely implausible, badly-acted disaster. But viewed as an unintential comedy, it is one of the great masterworks in the history of television.